I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
