so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
