I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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