You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize