what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
