fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
