Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
