Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
