I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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