not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
