Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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