butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
