Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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