I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
