There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
