i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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