help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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