Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
