haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
