Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
