birth control should be required to get into college
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
