YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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