if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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