There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
