the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize