the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
