I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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