I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
