Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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