Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
