Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
