I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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