I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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