His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
