Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
