We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
