I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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