I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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