I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
