Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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