I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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