Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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