talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
