You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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