Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
