I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
