i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
