We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
