first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
