Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think people are normalizing furries
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
