Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
