Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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