Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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