is your mom at the bar?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
