just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
