well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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