For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize