I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize