I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
