Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
