This girl is more easily done than said...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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