I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
